Have you ever felt as if you we’re standing still, captivated by an influx of missed opportunities?
I am standing tall, above myself, a god of my own choosing, a maker of my own reality. I have all this power, yet I do not have the strength to move… to act. I have lived. I have learned. I have smiled and I have cried. However, when I remember the past, I do not recall these moments. I can only consider what I have missed, what I should have done. Is it regret that restrains me?
Time may be infinite, but mine is not. I feel as if I have wasted so much of it. It is a heavy concept that weighs on me. As I mature and tend to make better decisions or seize better opportunities; time seems to move faster out of spite. As if it relishes my misery. As if it does not want to give me a try at happiness.
I look around and see all these happy people, gods of their own little worlds. Why don’t they worry and regret? Have they made all the right choices? Are they immortal?
Why can they enjoy their time when I cannot? What do they have that I do not? What do they know that I do not…
Here I stand, wasting my time thinking of wasted time. Withering away with grief. I am missing something. Some piece of information that may guide me to happiness. Something that others have found but still eludes me. Will time, in all its spite, give me respite. How much time will it lend me to find this missing piece?
How much time will there be left for me to enjoy it?